Day One.
September 2017 is Money Month.
So hailed...by me.
Each day I will post a new piece of art inspired by my research and dive into the intimidating world of money. A world most men are trained to play in from early on. Women, not so much.
In the post I will include a handy tidbit that I have learned, and get personal and transparent around my own money stuff. Yikes!
To kick it off today, I want to talk about money and desire. I've spent many years swimming in those "spiritual bypassy" infested waters where we’re told we manifest money based on desire. The "great" and very wealthy "gurus" say meditating, vision boards, post it notes, etc. will bring forth riches. I have had a series of coincidences where things like this have happened, but over the long haul, not so much. I'm embarrassed to admit how many times I've gotten sucked into this game, and I've ended up with less than I started with, and usually, in debt.
Someone did get rich...you guessed it, it was the guru.
Desire without knowledge is praying to a false idol.
I didn't see them as the phony get rich quick schemes they really were, over and over. Sigh.
The ostrich technique never worked either. I’m grateful to my husband, Paul for pushing me to fess up to my fears and shame around money.
The only way to generate wealth, my ultimate goal, is to know what the hell I'm doing around money.
In honor of my newfound pledge, I've decided to become my own Money Superhero.
Todays short lesson, with more in depth info to follow.
Find out what your Net Worth/Assets v Debt is. I know it can be scary because the number might have a minus sign in front of it.
But, if you have no starting line, you have no way to move forward.
Breathe, and keep watching this space. Together we will get this shit right and make a plan.
Day Two.
September 2017 is Money Month.
So hailed...by me.
Each day I will post a new piece of art inspired by my research and dive into the intimidating world of money. A world most men are trained to play in from early on. Women, not so much.
In the post I will include a handy tidbit that I have learned, and get personal and transparent around my own money stuff. Yikes!
Yesterday I talked about desire. It had me thinking about another word that gets tossed around in manifestation circles.
Appetite.
The actual definition is:
A natural desire to satisfy a bodily need, especially for food.
A strong desire or liking for something.
We’ve been trained since birth to have large appetites. Our elders may tell us to clean our plate, or just try to get us to eat because they think we’ll die of hunger if we don’t. Even this comes with privilege because there are many people whose appetite for food cannot be met on a daily basis.
Many kids have food restrictions because parents have set up rules around what they are aloud to eat.
Our culture has done the same. If you are poor, god forbid you want a chocolate bar. You are judged for your appetite.
So, right from the start we are being set up to crave, sometimes for things that we cannot, or are told we shouldn't have. And P.S. if our appetites are too big we are told that we are greedy. Learning early on that we are bad if we want too much.
I’m going the long way around--I see a strong connection with food and money.
Our appetites can become unquenchable. A way to fill a void, or to avoid.
This is so personal but I said I would be transparent. Only a few people in my life know about this, and I’ve only told them within the last year.
My hands are shaking and my heart is racing as I type.
I spent many years binging and purging using laxatives. Even when I was a bodybuilder, and ate clean almost all the time, I was afraid to gain weight.
For anyone who thinks this is a good idea, its not. It doesn’t work, and I’ve had some consequences because of it.
At the same time, I chose to fill the empty spaces in my life with things. I spent more money than I made over and over.
The self loathing I felt when I binged was the same one I felt when I overspent.
Gaining weight and gaining debt went hand in hand.
I wasn’t dealing with long standing fears and hurts so I ate and I spent.
We can get used to feeling large amounts of pain instead of confronting the truth.
Using our appetites as a way of avoidance and self destruction.
It is one of the most vicious cycles a person can get into.
I was destroying my mental, physical, and financial health all at the same time...in secret.
Sometimes I’m angry I’m not one of those naturally skinny people because that is what we’ve been trained to want to be.
Sometimes I’m angry that I wasn’t born into a wealthy family because some problems are easier to deal with when you have money. I know this one is up for debate.
I may have issues around food and money my whole life.
In both cases I am coming out of the dark to see where the light takes me because it is exhausting hiding my dirty shame in the proverbial closet.
Back to appetite.
I never had any to learn about money.
Now that I do, my enthusiasm knows no bounds.
Todays bit of info is about Compound Interest.
If you are earning it, bravo, it is a wealth generator.
If you are paying it, holy hell, it can break you.
Both Amanda Steinberg and Alicia Holmes say you must read the fine print and understand where your money is going in both the earnings and debt columns.
I confess that I haven’t yet read my credit card or my retirement investment statements to understand what I am
actually earning and what I am paying, but I vow to do it this month.
Will you take that on with me?
Please read the info about compound interest and comment on how it feels when you see the actual numbers.
It can be confronting as hell.
Breathe, and keep watching this space.
Together we will get this shit right and make a plan.
http://www.thecalculatorsite.com/articles/finance/compound-interest-formula.php
http://www.investopedia.com/terms/c/compoundinterest.asp
Day Three.
September is Money Month.
So hailed...by me.
Each day I will post a new piece of art inspired by my research and dive into the intimidating world of money. A world most men are trained to play in from early on. Women, not so much.
In the post I will include a handy tidbit that I have learned, and get personal and transparent around my own money stuff. Yikes!
Today I am going to talk about retirement and death.
I’ve always equated retirement as a step toward death. An acceptance that I’ve never been ready for. I am envious as hell of those who aren’t afraid of death, me, I’m terrified.
If I think too much about death I feel paralyzed with fear. Major anxiety attack material. I have mostly chosen to non-confront it, to keep myself from really accepting the inevitable. In a world full of deeply spiritual believers there is shame in being non-religious, therefore a person with no firm hold on the hereafter. I’ve had people insist that I am spiritual. I am, in the way that feels connections which aren’t obviously seen in the physical realm, but not in the way that believes in God.
So, when Paul wanted to talk about retirement a few months ago, I got really angry at him. I’m not really working right now so what the fuck am I retiring from? Running our household, being a mom and an artist? I’m not owning that bit of the “American Dream.” Why would I want to plan to enjoy myself the most when I’m not as physically able as I am now? And BTW, the American Dream is kind of a poison. It was never designed to make room for everyone.
Here’s the big problem with my very emotional stance on freaking out about the retirement conversation. Whether I like it or not, I have to plan for my later years in terms of dollars and cents. Even if I die tomorrow I want to have a plan in place to take care of my kid besides my life insurance. I’m choosing to call it my legacy money. I have a small amount in a 401(k) from one of my teaching gigs. The rest of the money I had put away earlier, all gone. Some lost in dumb ass stock market investments that blew away like the wind in the crash in the 80’s. The rest pulled out to use along the way. I kept thinking I had all the time in the world to save. Now, here I am at 54, and I’m just getting started again.
Here are some retirement planning tools and info from Amanda Steinberg's The Daily worth.
https://www.dailyworth.com/posts/three-retirement-planning-tools-you-need-right-now
https://www.dailyworth.com/posts/whats-the-difference-between-a-401k-and-a-403b
I’ve started working on how I am going to manage making sure I have enough in my emergency fund and savings, as well as money for pure retirement investing. I will talk more detail in the weeks ahead.
Breathe, and keep watching this space.
Together we will get this shit right and make a plan.
Day Four.
September is Money Month.
So hailed...by me.
Each day I will post a new piece of art inspired by my research and dive into the intimidating world of money. A world most men are trained to play in from early on. Women, not so much.
In the post I will include a handy tidbit that I have learned, and get personal and transparent around my own money stuff. Yikes!
I am a huge mass of contradictions.
It’s what’s on my mind today.
An expression that is being overused these days: “You/I/We can walk and chew gum at the same time.” We cannot be defined in action or in being by pithy little cliches. At the moment I am holding what feels like thousands of divergent thoughts and ideas in my head that I want to birth, all at the same time. It is exciting and exhausting, therefore contradictory. Hence the need for pure escapism in the form of binge-watching. At the moment it’s the Marvel universe series on Netflix, and I'm not even a real rah-rah superhero kind of gal, therefore contradictory.
I love hosting parties, and going to parties, and sometimes, I want to go hide somewhere so I can get away from everyone. I’m an introverted extrovert, a massive contradiction.
What does any of this have to do with money?
As I look at the scope of my life and my relationship with money I see so many contradictions.
I love money and hate money.
I have seen money as evil, but it can be can be used for good.
I don’t always trust wealthy people, and I want to be them.
We are all taught that rich people are harder working than poor people, and even though I know it is a load of horse shit on an intellectual level, on an emotional level I judge myself and others based on this deep societal paradigm.
I’m a fearless risk taker who is terrified of so many things.
I have tried many new business, art projects, etc. and each have failed to make me rich. I feel like a success for trying and a loser at the same time.
I finally get it.
I am a contradictory, and that’s a good thing.
Diversification is contradictory because to make money, and save money, one must take some risks, and also play it safe based on our age, income bracket and a myriad of other things. We can do some risky investing to make bigger chunks of money, while at the same time putting a portion of our money into safer investments.
I’m not at the point where I can even diversify a penny, but it would be foolish of me to ignore important wealth creating information. Money Superheroes must always be in training.
The importance of diversification:
http://www.investopedia.com/articles/02/111502.asp
“It aims to maximize return by investing in different areas that would each react differently to the same event. Most investment professionals agree that, although it does not guarantee against loss, diversification is the most important component of reaching long-range financial goals while minimizing risk.”
More info to better understand why diversification is so important to wealth building.
http://www.womens-finance.com/stocks/diversification.shtml
Breathe, and keep watching this space.
Together we will get this shit right and make a plan.
Day Five.
September is Money Month.
So hailed...by me.
Each day I will post a new piece of art inspired by my research and dive into the intimidating world of money. A world most men are trained to play in from early on. Women, not so much.
In the post I will include a handy tidbit that I have learned, and get personal and transparent around my own money stuff. Yikes!
I don’t have a lot of words today.
I feel sad, angry, and heartbroken to my core.
I’m listening to music that moves me and dancing like a wild woman--Bowie’s, “Changes” and Public Enemy’s, “Fight the Power.” I'm wondering how the hell we are going to get through all of this.
Every fucked up and hateful thing happening in this world is because of two things..the quest for money and power.
We have to build wealth. It's the only way to fight the power at their level, and to take care of ourselves and each other.
I’m not going to post anything to read/study today.
Breathe, and keep watching this space.
Together we will get this shit right and make a plan, and fight the fucking power!!!
Day Six.
September 2017 is Money Month.
So hailed...by me.
Each day I will post a new piece of art inspired by my research and dive into the intimidating world of money. A world most men are trained to play in from early on. Women, not so much.
In the post I will include a handy tidbit that I have learned, and get personal and transparent around my own money stuff. Yikes!
Things.
Why do we need so many things?
When I left my first husband 23 years ago, I also left almost everything behind. I wanted out and the things just didn’t matter. I’ve thought about this a lot over the years because I didn't miss anything I didn’t take. One of the times I got myself in financial trouble I stayed with my dad’s in laws for three months so I could sublet my apartment to make some cash. They lived in a pre-war classic 6 with maid’s quarters on the Upper West Side. I lived in the maid’s room, a small rectangle about 9’x6’. I had a bed, makeup, my old school iMac and some clothes. It was freeing to not have stuff to take care of and worry about. When I worked with a french Kabbalahist years ago she said she thought Americans were too sentimental. I tend to agree. We give so much meaning to inanimate objects, and if they are lost, stolen, destroyed, etc. it hurts. I look back at all the things I’ve bought over the years on impulse, or because I wanted the things my friends had. I know part of it was a refusal to feel any sense of deprivation even when I couldn’t afford some of the things I bought.
In the last few years I’ve realized I prefer to spend money on experiences. I could have generated a lot of wealth with the money I spent on things, enough to retire, enough to travel.
It’s not too late. I’m on it.
Here are some good tips for saving money.
https://americasaves.org/for-savers/make-a-plan-how-to-save-money/54-ways-to-save-money
One of my favorites:
“Use the 24 hour rule. This rules helps avoid purchasing expensive or unnecessary items on impulse. Think over each nonessential purchase for at least 24 hours. This is particularly easy to do while shopping online, because you can add items to your cart or wish list and come back to them a day later.”
Breathe, and keep watching this space.
Together we will get this shit right and make a plan, and fight the fucking power!!!
Day Seven.
September 2017 is Money Month.
So hailed...by me.
Each day I will post a new piece of art inspired by my research and dive into the intimidating world of money. A world most men are trained to play in from early on. Women, not so much.
In the post I will include a handy tidbit that I have learned, and get personal and transparent around my own money stuff. Yikes!
It’s been a week, and it’s only Thursday.
And…I’m in the mood to talk about relationships.
I have a migraine, but going to plow through because I want to honor my commitment to do this for 30 days, and that is about my relationship to me.
I’m going to talk about my man history because people want to know about our past horror show relationships.
Part 1-Young Meryl is bullied by most of the kids in the neighborhood, including the ones that claimed to be my friends. People jump on the cruel bandwagon. The biggest guy in the neighborhood who happened to be four years older than me came to my rescue, and then feel in love with me. It was the first time I had gotten that kind of attention from a guy. I liked it. I married him at 19. I’m not getting into the whole story here, but, my hero became my abuser. Eleven years later I left him. Yes, it took me eleven years. I had very little self love or an understanding of what a good relationship looked like, and like many victims of abuse, I blamed myself much of the time.
Part 2- I was 31 and single in NYC. It was the 90’s, before online dating was the norm, but somehow we managed. I dated a lot, had some serious relationships, and not so serious relationships. I gave my heart away and had it broken by someone who, upon reflection, I was addicted to. I had a shitload of fun, and lived my 20’s in my thirties. No regrets.
Part 3-By the time I met Paul, I was happy with who I was and clear about what I wanted, and was over feeling the need for a man. Here it goes—the cliché of all clichés. I met him in a bar, and he wasn’t my type. He was the bartender, cute, funny and charming, but I had other ideas about what my man should look like. That shit never did me any good so I gave him a chance. Our story is pretty damn magical, but I am going for brevity here. We dated, we broke up, we got back together, we fell in love, surprise…I got pregnant(at 42!), and six months after Logan was born, we got married. I used to think it works just because it’s us, but that’s not the whole truth. It works because like any relationship worth a damn, be it friendship, family, or lover, we do the work to make it work. We push the level of communication to places I’ve never been with another human being. When ego shows up, like it always does, we fess up to it, swallow our pride, and move on. We never, and I mean never say or do anything just to be hurtful, win an argument, or get even. That doesn’t mean we don’t hurt each other sometimes, we do. But, when you know your partners motivation is clean, you can work through it with love. Anyone who knows us knows how much Paul honors and respects me. Never had it like this before, frankly never thought it was possible. I wake up grateful to have this life everyday.
Now, I am going to swing this around to my relationship with money.
Before I met Paul I didn’t think I’d ever have such a loving and honest relationship. I’ve reflected back on it this way. In NYC a lot of banks have very thick bullet proof glass between teller and customer. You can see them very clearly, but you cannot touch the person on the other side of the glass. I used to feel like I was standing on the other side of the bullet proof glass regarding relationships. I could see them, but I’d never be on that side of the glass. Once you do get on the other side, you see it as possible for everyone. I’m still on the customer side of the money glass. I want to hang with the tellers and all that cash. I still have barriers and belief systems to break down, but I know I am closer than I’ve ever been.
This art isn’t new. It’s part of a card I made for Paul years ago, but it felt apropos.
Here are some money myths I’ve fallen prey to that have kept me from breaking through in my money relationship.
https://www.listenmoneymatters.com/top-10-money-myths/
Breathe, and keep watching this space.
Together we will get this shit right and recreate our relationship with money.
Day Eight.
September 2017 is Money Month.
So hailed...by me.
Each day I will post a new piece of art inspired by my research and dive into the intimidating world of money. A world most men are trained to play in from early on. Women, not so much.
In the post I will include a handy tidbit that I have learned, and get personal and transparent around my own money stuff. Yikes!
The global chaos we are witnessing has me thinking about economics.
I like to view situations macro and micro.
Macro
I can’t believe there is still debate whether or not human behavior has anything to do with the hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, fires, and tsunamis.
I am no expert.
I don’t have to be to know it’s all about economics.
It wasn’t that long ago that tobacco companies were willing to allow people to die for profits. It is and has always been about “Profits & Loss” since the days this country was founded on the backs of slaves.
I’m not a natural pessimist but it’s hard to be hopeful.
Fessing up to the truth about climate change is going to screw with some global economies, but we don’t have a choice. We have to decide as the human race to do better for our planet. Economies can be restructured around new forms of energy, and infrastructure is the key. C’mon young brilliant minds, find a way to make all this stuff mega-profitable so it will be irresistible even to the most non of the non-believers.
Micro
In my home universe I think about economics every day. If I don’t save and take care of my health and home, the shit is going to fall apart. In the last year my body has changed a lot. At first I pretended not to notice, because who wants to confront getting older? But eventually I had to handle it. It was telling me in ways as obvious as a Cat 5 hurricane. We’ve lived in our home for 7.5 years. A few months ago the kitchen sink busted and leaked. That was a $400 fix. I need resources to pay for personal and home infrastructure, that means redesigning my own economy.
Everyday I see connections between the way we run our lives and the way we run this planet. The micro and macroeconomics are intrinsically linked. We don’t have much time to get back on track.
http://www.economicshelp.org/blog/6796/economics/difference-between-microeconomics-and-macroeconomics/
Breathe, and keep watching this space.
Together we will get this right and make a plan, and fight the fucking power!!!
Day Nine.
September 2017 is Money Month.
So hailed...by me.
Each day I will post a new piece of art inspired by my research and dive into the intimidating world of money. A world most men are trained to play in from early on. Women, not so much.
In the post I will include a handy tidbit that I have learned, and get personal and transparent around my own money stuff. Yikes!
Today, resources.
As I was walking to the gym today I was thinking about a few things I wanted to pick up at the super market and then the farmers market on 145th Street.
On another post I wrote about how it took awhile forPaul to get me to look at what we spend every month. I’ve started to think about having a budget as monthly, "Resource Allocation.”
We all have fixed and discretionary expenses. See attached article about creating a budget if you are up for the game. Here’s what I’m guessing is an incomplete list of ours:
-Mortgage and maintenance
-Electricity
-Food
-Internet
-Phone service-I’m switching to Cricket from AT&T this month. Why did I ever feel loyal
to them?
-Entertainment-We cancelled cable. So hard for me, but we still have Netflix.
Paul and I rarely go on dates because childcare in NYC is $15-$20 an hour.
If we do dinner and a movie we are out $175!
-Credit cards-That’s the debt thing I am still working on my shame around.
-Insurance of many kinds
-Metro Card
-Property Tax
-Miscellaneous-clothes, sundries, travel, gym membership, toys…
Other than mortgage and maintenance, food is our biggest expense, and we rarely eat out. Food costs in NYC are damn high, and eating “healthy” costs even more. Healthy may look different for each of us depending on our needs and income. Yesterday I talked about how I look at most things through both a micro and macro lens, including how we use our resources.
I shop for food a few times a week, and I like to cook, so it takes up a lot of space in my head. When I go shopping for food here is what I consider for me and my family. Which fruits and veggies should I spend the extra on for organic. This also varies depending on how much I want to/can spend. Some weeks I go through my recipe books and have a plan. Others, I just wing it. Dietary needs and restrictions. I used to be one of those pain in the ass people who went through phases on not eating certain foods and being kind of superior about it. I was a vegetarian in college, my sister can tell you stories. When I was a bodybuilder, high protein, veggies, complex carbs, no booze, no cheating, no flavor. Now that I am the proud owner of a hiatal hernia and reflux, my dietary restrictions are forcing me to get creative. Logan, at 10 has a few foods he’ll eat as meals, and some of them ain’t cheap. He loves burgers and steak so I buy local, grass fed because I don’t want to give him hormones. His other fave is pasta with butter and Parmigiano-Reggiano. Probably one of the most expensive cheeses out there, and he can tell if it’s aged or not… Thank goodness Paul is easy when it comes to food.
I know Paul and I are lucky to even be able to make some of the choices we do. There were times when I was growing up when we were on food stamps, got free lunch, plus powdered milk and cheese from the government food giveaways. I hated getting on line to pay and having to say, “Free lunch” out loud in front of other students. I can still feel the heat in my body. I’d get pissed off at my mother, (a single mom working and going to school) when she bought Hydrox instead of Oreos, and store brand cola. She had to consider how to spend her resources, but I was too young to get it.
How we spend our money can impact our well being, I wish it didn’t, but we aren’t there yet, it does. My happiness is a resource, and self care around money is something I’ll tackle another day.
The human race has so many choices to make on how we use and what we see as resources. The bigger picture around global resources would take me a lot more than an FB post to write about, and I may. For now, consider the storms we are having and how it is possible that we can make some choices around this very subject that can impact all of our futures. I know I will revisit this conversation because it all comes down to money.
https://www.pennypinchinmom.com/how-to-create-a-budget-beginner/
Breathe, and keep watching this space.
Together we will get this right and make a plan, and fight the fucking power!!!
Day Ten.
September is Money Month.
So hailed...by me.
Each day I will post a new piece of art inspired by my research and dive into the intimidating world of money. A world most men are trained to play in from early on. Women, not so much.
In the post I will include a handy tidbit that I have learned, and get personal and transparent around my own money stuff. Yikes!
Responsibility is on my mind.
I’m married to a comic book geek, so of course this line from Spider Man comes to mind.
“With great power there must also come–great responsibility!”
If I choose to claim my power, and I do, I must also claim personal responsibility. To be clear, I am not talking about responsibility in the way we hear it in Law of Attraction circles. Pinning blame on victims is Gaslighting 101. I’ve fallen into that trap in the past, and I wish I could take back every dumbass hurtful thing I’ve said. It also did me no good to be so unforgiving to myself when bad shit happened to me.
The responsibility I am talking about is how I show up in the world, and that includes how I spend my money. It’s not new for me to think about this, but as I look at the level of personal and corporate greed on this planet, I know I have to do better. This morning I read an article in the Washington Post, that lead me here today. It’s called, “Trump is making Americans see the U.S. the way the rest of the world already did.” (link below) A stark reminder how irresponsible and downright dangerous America has been in this world. We are not the “shining city on upon a hill” that Reagan claimed us to be (Please don’t get me started on Reagan or I’ll go way off topic).
Our truth? We are colonizers, empire builders, and earth rapers. Why would I include this on a post about money?
As the dark underbelly of this country comes out into the light, we all must show ours as well so we can start changing for the better. Dismantling systems of oppression start with how we earn and spend money.
Thank you Alicia Holmes for bringing me deeper into this conversation.
I’ve made some changes and gotten into#grabthembythewallet campaigns because I didn’t want to shop at places selling Ivanka or Donald merch.
We sent a message about the power of the purse, but what is the true global impact? Not much I suspect. I’m starting to take more responsibility about how each of my purchases impact people, countries, and the planet.
From my years in fashion I learned the global footprint of every single garment we wear. When I had my company, 2kGrey, we manufactured in the USA, Los Angeles and NYC. CMT, (Cut, Make,Trim) is the final step of the process. Fabric, buttons, zippers, thread, dyes, hangtags, labels, and on and on are coming from all over the globe, plus trucking to warehouese and stores. In some cases the company you order from will sub-contract to someone else. More hands than one can ever imagine touch every single item of clothing we wear, every piece of food we consume, every lipstick and eye shadow we purchase.
It’s daunting as hell. If we each take some responsibility and make changes personally that would make a huge difference. Then, we start asking more questions of our elected officials and hold corporations accountable. If they see us changing our spending habits, they will follow if it impacts their bottom line. This is where I will start.
My incredible friend Niomi Plotkin just told me about a great app that makes buying responsibly pretty easy.
BUYCOTT (link below)
“You can scan the barcode on any product and the free app will trace its ownership all the way to its top corporate parent company, including conglomerates like Koch Industries.
Once you've scanned an item, Buycott will show you its corporate family tree on your phone screen. Scan a box of Splenda sweetener, for instance, and you'll see its parent, McNeil Nutritionals, is a subsidiary of Johnson & Johnson.
Even more impressively, you can join user-created campaigns to boycott business practices that violate your principles rather than single companies.”
I’d like to compile a list of responsible companies. I’m including some here owned by friends of mine. Please add yours to the comments.
Activist and fashion designer Tabitha St Bernard-Jacobs
has two fabulous ethically made, "zero waste lines.
https://tabiijust.com/
and
https://livariclothing.com/
launching this week at New York Fashion Week.
A true pioneer in safe and environmentally clean products for body and home, Christine Dimmick
started The Good Home Company in 1995.
https://goodhomestore.com/
Buycott
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/buycott-barcode-scanner-qr-bar-code-scanner/id585933440?mt=8
https://www.washingtonpost.com/outlook/trump-is-making-americans-see-the-us-the-way-the-rest-of-the-world-already-did/2017/09/08/50f7c5ac-8ce8-11e7-84c0-02cc069f2c37_story.html?utm_term=.9f8a0e1206d1
I created the textile art/American flag, attached after reading the WaPo article cited in my post.
Breathe, and keep watching this space.
Together we will get this right and make a plan, and fight the fucking power!!!
Day Eleven
September 2017 is Money Month.
So hailed...by me.
Each day I will post a new piece of art inspired by my research and dive into the intimidating world of money. A world most men are trained to play in from early on. Women, not so much.
In the post I will include a handy tidbit that I have learned, and get personal and transparent around my own money stuff. Yikes!
Today the word purpose is floating in my head.
I woke up this morning in a foul mood for no particular reason.
After I tried to pick a fight with Paul, (not my usual MO), I felt even worse. It took my awhile to realize it was that hormonal seething that feels comes some months around this time. I didn’t catch on right away because I’ve been taking some incredible supplements to keep the peri-menopause fun under control. Even in 2017, what happens to women as we age is barely a blip on most people’s radar. Nowadays we’re told to embrace it. Hot flashes, night sweats, crankiness, sadness, migraines, crashing exhaustion, nausea, and dizzy spells, are hard to ignore. Not every women goes through it, and it’s something else to add to the shame list when you do. I have blamed myself for this. All the years of working out and eating healthy and I still must have done something wrong to have this hell once a month. I’ve described it as if I am a whistling teapot that has no place to let off steam until the top just blows, and then I am me again. Or, I just want to crawl out of my own skin.
Back to today. I’m cranky and I have a doctor’s appointment that I really don’t want to go to that also involves some woman stuff. I go, and of course it isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I created more drama on drama.
After the doctor, I went off to the gym to burn calories and anger. Toward the end of my cardio on the Lifecycle, a man sat on the bike next to me. He was having a bit of trouble figuring out how to use it. I helped him. We chatted a bit and I asked him his name.
I didn’t expect what happened next:
“Franco the Great.”
And he said it with pride.
He is a local Harlem artist and celebrity whose travelled around the world doing art. After working out I went to Franco’s studio around the corner.
It was one of those special NY moments because it felt like we were supposed to meet. We are now friends, but can also help each other.
He has ideas for me to make money as an artist, I know photoshop, and he wants to learn.
Swinging back around to purpose. Every time I have an encounter like the one I had with Franco, I am more clear of my purpose. He is a reminder of two things that matter to me, communicating through my art, and communicating profoundly with other humans.
I felt, and feel lighter and more joyous after meeting Franco. All the gunk was washed away by a chance encounter.
I’ve spent so much of my life worrying about having enough money, and time, but days like today remind me that just one moment can be everything.
I have no articles or money advice to share today, but I feel clear and ready to go tomorrow.
Breathe, and keep watching this space.
Together we will get this right and make a plan, and fight the fucking power!!!
Day Twelve.
September 2017 is Money Month.
So hailed...by me.
Each day I will post a new piece of art inspired by my research and dive into the intimidating world of money. A world most men are trained to play in from early on. Women, not so much.
In the post I will include a handy tidbit that I have learned, and get personal and transparent around my own money stuff. Yikes!
Have I written about control yet?
I want to be in control.
I must be in control
I’m not in control.
I remember being a kid and feeling powerless when my dad left. I had no control over the most important thing that happened in my life up until that point. It was then that I learned to use the art of control when I felt most out of control.
Here’s how it started to put this together recently.
I’m working on a podcast with two incredible women. Our role in global economics came up, as it does quite often. We are just barely at the table, so no control where we need it most.
I’m a cis woman married to a cis man. In most of the cisgendered male/female relationships women don’t want to understand the money stuff because we haven’t been taught or expected to. So…we look for control in other areas of our relationships. In fact, we are the butt of many a mysoginist joke around how controlling we are. Shit, if we can’t control our place in the world, (and P.S. it would be so much better if we did) then we are going to go for what we can.
I’m starting with understanding the economy of our household-- then I’m going global. When I get an idea in my head, autodidact that I am, I immerse myself in it.
If I matter in the rebuilding of this world for the better, (and it must be done) then I can ease up on control in other areas of my life. Although, clutter is still going to send me in a tizzy!
From the first attached article:
“When more women work, economies grow. An increase in female labour
force participation—or a reduction in the gap between women’s and men’s
labour force participation—results in faster economic growth.
Evidence from a range of countries shows that increasing the
share of household income controlled by women, either through
their own earnings or cash transfers, changes spending in ways
that benefit children.”
http://www.unwomen.org/…/economic-empower…/facts-and-figures
http://www.mckinsey.com/…/how-advancing-womens-equality-can…
Breathe, and keep watching this space.
Together we will get this right and make a plan, and fight the fucking power!!!
Day Thirteen.
September is Money Month. So hailed...by me. Each day I will post a new piece of art inspired by my research and dive into the intimidating world of money. A world most men are trained to play in from early on. Women, not so much. In the post I will include a handy tidbit that I have learned, and get personal and transparent around my own money stuff. Yikes!
I’ve lied.
I've told white lies and big bad lies.
Mostly, I’ve lied to myself.
We’ve been trained that white lies are ok because we are protecting someone else’s feelings. I know who I’ve really protected when I’ve lied. I’m not judging myself. My lies were born from fear, shame, insecurity, and that insidious need to be liked. I'm envious of people who say they always tell it like it is. But, I wonder if that’s a lie too.
Is there any human out there who has never told a lie?
I’ve lied about my weight, how a man has treated me, about sex 9you can figure that one out, and I’ve lied about how I am feeling. Most lies are buried so deep that I can’t think of a specific one now, but when I do I’ll put in the comments.
Lying and money: I’ve lied about how much money I have and how much I owe. Ignoring my money truths is deceiving myself and I longer have the energy or desire for it. Clearly, I’m not going to get anywhere on my mission to wealth if I’m not honest with me.
What constitutes a lie, and how lying is viewed is different geographically and culturally. This is not an excuse for me or you, but we’ve been raised in a society of lies.
We’ve been taught revisionist history.
We are told over and over, no matter what our circumstances, we can pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and make millions.
We have witnessed white collar criminals who have lied and bilked people out of their money do less or no time in jail than those who have nothing and steal to survive.
Politicians lie every day.
The man in the White House has lied over 1000 times since he’s been in office, and a large number of people in this country are ok with that. Has he given us more license to lie?
Equifax just got hacked and many of us are screwed. They didn’t let us know right away. I think they’ll call it a lie by omission but we are still in danger because of it.
We trust our money to people before we vet them. This is something I hadn’t thought about much until I started getting down and dirty in my money research. I didn’t know all the places where a percentage here or a percentage there could be snipped off of my investments. I now understand why the, “Fiduciary Rule” is so important to my bottom line. It also keeps financial advisors honest.
From Amanda Steinberg's Daily Worth website:
“Many people don’t realize that some advisors and brokers can offer investment advice that isn’t in their best interest. In other words, some kinds of advisors and brokers can recommend an investment that pays them (the advisor) a high commission or a high fee, even if there is a comparable investment option that would cost the client less.
The idea is that the fiduciary rule will stop advisors from putting their own interests first, and clients will benefit because they will be paying lower fees.”
And P.S. “The regulation behind the fiduciary rule already went into effect in April 2016, but initial compliance by the industry isn’t required until April 10, 2017, and full compliance isn’t required until April 2018. President Trump recently issued an executive order to require a new review of the law, which would effectively prevent it from being implemented." His reasoning lives behind a series of lies to help the people making the most money. Surprise!
https://www.dailyworth.com/posts/4420-what-is-the-fiduciary-rule
Don’t be intimidated by investment advisors telling you that they know better. Walk in full of information and get what you want from them.
Once I realized those little lies I was telling myself were keeping me from wealth I decided to stop cold turkey.
Wanna join me?
Breathe, and keep watching this space. Together we will get this right and make a plan, and fight the fucking power!!!
Day Fourteen.
September is Money Month. So hailed...by me. Each day I will post a new piece of art inspired by my research and dive into the intimidating world of money. A world most men are trained to play in from early on.
Women, not so much. In the post I will include a handy tidbit that I have learned, and get personal and transparent around my own money stuff. Yikes!
How does one tell a New York Story without sounding like a cliché?
When I write about NYC I want to channel Paul Auster and Edna St. Vincent Millay who paid homage in ways that I’ll only dream about. Nonetheless, I’m taking my stab at it.
As a New Yorker if I’m talking money, I can’t ignore my city—land of Wall Street. A city that smells of both money and dire straits.
It’s Fashion week in NY. If we are to talk about excess, the world I spent most of my career, reeks of it. I can’t deny my thrill when I see and touch beautifully designed clothing. I love details, and fashion, is all about the details. Last night my friend had her big fashion week debut show.
I went. To say I was excited for her isn’t doing my feelings justice. It was a big deal. Her collection is important. The concept is “zero waste” clothing, less fabric, better for the environment. The pieces were beautiful and wearable, shown in a room filled to the brim with celebrities and press. Float in that space for a moment while I fill you in on my trip to the show.
The show was in Hell’s Kitchen on 46th by the river (Hudson for non New Yorkers). I haven’t been in that neighborhood at night in some time. We tend to stay within a 20-30 block radius of our home turf in NY unless we have no choice. When I lived downtown, I rarely came uptown. I’m on the West side, in Harlem now. I can’t remember the last time I was on the Upper East Side, and that’s only cross town.
Walking through Hell’s Kitchen at night left me in a strange mood. There are so many restaurants and lounges. More than I remember. It was Tuesday night but you'd think it was any night on Bourbon Street with tipsy yuppie crowds overflowing from the bars. I felt hollow and alone in the way you can only in NY, but better when I passed Cara Mia, a romantic little restaurant Paul and I used to frequent when we were dating. I had another moment of nostalgia when I saw the club, Private Eyes. I met a guy who I had a “friends with benefits” relationship with. And then there was Kodama. It’s the place I had sushi for the first time in the early 90s. One of the salesmen I worked with at a fashion gig took me there for lunch. I haven’t seen Lee in years, but I’ll never forget him, because, well…sushi. Each of these spots brought me back to another time in my life as a New Yorker. This is how I claim my place here. I don’t have any buildings or streets named after me, but like all New Yorkers I have my footprint on this city.
As I walked further west on 46th Street, the distinctive sour smell of warm beer invaded my nostrils. I came across a group of older women and I’m guessing, their grandkids going through at least 20 huge trash bags full of used cans and bottles. They were separating them to bring in for recycling. I don’t know how much the haul was worth, but I hope they did well.
It was jarring to walk a few blocks from these women to the glam of the fashion world. I don’t usually feel awkward in social situations, but when the room is full of people looking as perfect as they can, it’ll throw you. I wondered if everyone else felt as I did. I’ve been around wealth and celebrities before, but last night it felt different for me. My perceptions are changing. It’s not good or bad, but I was noticing how I felt around it.
After the show I walked back to the subway the way I came. In my soul I felt a yearning to do more, be more, achieve more. That’s where NY is dangerous because we’ll never live up to the potential we think she’s offering us. Being surrounded by luxury and wealth can be a trap for those of us who don’t play in that world. Many don’t even have the privilege of stepping into that adult playground when they want to.
This article in New York Magazine is a few years old, but apropos for me to ponder after my journey last night and my research on money and wealth. It’s a long read, but well worth your time.
http://nymag.com/news/features/money-brain-2012-7/
“While having money doesn’t necessarily make anybody anything,” Piff says, “the rich are way more likely to prioritize their own self-interests above the interests of other people. It makes them more likely to exhibit characteristics that we would stereotypically associate with, say, assholes.”
Breathe, and keep watching this space. Together we will get this right and make a plan, and fight the fucking power!!!